| One night, whilst watching TV, I understood a very | | | | and soul. There is no cupboard for his clothes, not |
| useful magical principle which is highly practical and | | | | even to put down an overnight bag.In the bathroom |
| immensely efficient. Anyone can do it - if they really | | | | there isn't an inch of space for a shaver, or a second |
| want to, that is! - and although it involves interior | | | | toothbrush.Here's the deal.Single people decorate their |
| decoration, it is easy to do, once you get your head | | | | homes to please themselves and to "fill all available |
| around the basic principles.Whether you live alone in | | | | spaces with themselves".Their mirrors, ornaments, |
| your flat, house or mansion, whether you are gay or | | | | colour choices become their minions, their little army of |
| straight, male or female, and regardless of how old | | | | protective gremlins and this makes it very, very difficult |
| you are, with this method you can very practically | | | | for a second person to feel comfortable there or to |
| "choose your love, then love your choice" and get | | | | consider this a home and hearth for them.They think |
| yourself a new lover or life partner.The core insight | | | | it's a showcase for their personality and good taste, |
| comes from a TV programme in which houses which | | | | but to an outsider this is forbidding, foreboding, and |
| don't sell are re-decorated by a professional to make | | | | very freaky.Further, the chrome loving gentleman I |
| them more attractive so that offers start to come in.In | | | | mentioned earlier did NOT consist entirely of robotic |
| the programme and before the professional goes to | | | | coldness AS A PERSON.That was a total |
| work, buyers are shown around the property as it is, | | | | misrepresentation of who he was. He was lively, funny |
| and their responses are taped.With this property that | | | | and very, very passionate and I think he just prided |
| no-one wanted and which had been on the market for | | | | himself on his chrome aspects particularly and wanted |
| a good couple of years, the comment potential buyers | | | | himself and others to think that's who is was to |
| made over and over again was, "I just couldn't imagine | | | | impress them.My mystical orient loving friend too |
| myself living there."Let's repeat that sentence because | | | | wasn't all flow and heaven on earth, either. She is a |
| it is the key to the whole endeavour."I just couldn't | | | | shrewd business woman, loves order and logic, and |
| imagine myself living there."It struck me that this had | | | | you really don't want to get her on a day when she |
| been my own experience, but not during buying a | | | | has PMT!So.I put all of this to her and she was |
| house. I had felt like that when I was staying in various | | | | surprised, appalled but could see the sense of it right |
| boyfriend apartments or houses and couldn't wait to | | | | away."My goodness!" she exclaimed. "Are you |
| leave again!One gentleman had a very expensive | | | | seriously suggesting I paint my bedroom an inviting ... |
| house but it was all "Bauhaus" concrete and hard lines; | | | | GREY?!"We giggled for a while but yes, in essence, if |
| inside, everything was empty and white and chrome, | | | | you want to attract a man TO STAY WITH YOU |
| with umpteen massive mirrors and even mirror | | | | and feel right at home with you, the bedroom colours |
| polished work tops and cupboards in the kitchen."I just | | | | need to be professionally defused.The whole house, in |
| couldn't imagine myself living there."Can you imagine | | | | fact, needs to be tackled room by room to MAKE |
| being a couple or even a family in those | | | | ROOM FOR A MAN. To create an environment that |
| surroundings?Trying to cook a meal in a mirror polished | | | | is acceptable and inviting TO A MAN.My friend was |
| kitchen? Where would I put my stuff? What would I | | | | getting nervous."If I did this, wouldn't that mean I was |
| *do* in those vast, empty cold spaces? Cleaning | | | | READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP?" she asked |
| THAT?The guy was alright and even possibly very | | | | nervously. "And wouldn't the decor and colours I |
| alright. He was good in bed and had an interesting | | | | choose even DECIDE on the kind of man I would be |
| mind. But I left in the morning, without even so much as | | | | attracting?!"Yes, I do think that's exactly right. And |
| a cup of coffee and never came back.He and I never | | | | herein lies the real magic!Taking conscious control of |
| could figure out what "he'd done wrong" - and the deal | | | | the environment in order to GET WHAT YOU WANT, |
| is, apart from not paying attention to his DIY, he | | | | that is what this is all about.So, I asked my friend, "Well, |
| hadn't!Now, the converse.I have a friend, a very | | | | are you? Are you ready to paint your bedroom grey if |
| delicious and desirable lady who owns her own home, | | | | that is what it takes?"She fell thoughtful and said, "I |
| has a good job, looks attractive and *is* attractive in | | | | have real conflicts about that. I can sense that if I did, it |
| every way, but her gentlemen run as fast from her | | | | would work. And quickly, too. I think I've decorated like |
| after a home visit as I did from the mirror polished | | | | that to keep me safe from relationships. I guess I'm not |
| boyfriend.Her house is "new age heaven", to put a not | | | | as clear and ready on the topic as I thought ..."It's a |
| too fine point on it.Colours of an Indian fabric merchant | | | | fascinating thought that in the absence of a rabid mum |
| - a riot of burning oranges, fiery reds, glowing golds, | | | | with a rolling pin to keep the suitors at bay, my chrome |
| ultraviolets, greens, turquoise, blue, yellow.Incense | | | | gentleman and mystical friend had taken to using DIY |
| holders and crystals EVERYWHERE.Statues of | | | | instead to stay safe - and single.Well, there we have |
| Buddhas, cats, elephants.Windchimes and mystical | | | | the principle.It is straightforward and all you have to do |
| waterfall posters.Wow.Now, I like this. I like to visit her | | | | is to go through your house and see it through the |
| and I feel right at home there. We do magical things | | | | eyes of "the prospective suitor".If you aim to make |
| and have very meaningful conversations - but then, I'm | | | | your home a veritable honey trap for the cheerleading |
| much like her and the wrong sex for what she's | | | | bunny girls, then how should it look? Where will you put |
| looking for.If a suitable gentleman stepped through the | | | | the fluffy pink rugs, the candles and the flowers? And |
| door, he'd want to reverse right out.He wouldn't be able | | | | don't forget those furry toilet seat covers ...Ok, so I'm |
| to imagine himself being there, not at all.It goes further. | | | | kidding but you really will have to think differently, think |
| In true Feng Shui tradition, there is NO ROOM for a | | | | MAGICALLY, to make the choices that point to the |
| man here.Where would he sit to watch TV? Where | | | | TYPE OF PARTNER you would really be comfortable |
| would he take the engine of his motorbike apart? | | | | with, where your "compromise" with another would |
| Store his skies? Where would he eat his breakfast? | | | | actually ENHANCE YOUR OWN LIFE AND |
| Well, if he ate breakfast, that is, and if he wasn't into | | | | ENJOYMENT of your spaces.Here is your chance to |
| doing that in the lotus position in the conservatory, on | | | | also work on your own contortions, reversals and |
| the bamboo mat ...In the bedroom (deep purple with | | | | fears and clear them up, very practically and so use |
| glowing green and gold, full of candle holders and | | | | your home to firstly, find out what YOU NEED TO |
| fabrics draping everywhere!) there is a double bed, | | | | BALANCE YOUR EXCESSES in interior decorating, |
| granted. But there is no second bedside table for a | | | | and secondly, get the right mate for you to come - |
| potential man, even if he could get past the colours, | | | | and to stay. |
| which really and truly hurt most men's head, heart, mind | | | | |